fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
