Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
