how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
