I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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