Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
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