He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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