To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
