i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
my being single is dangerous.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
