you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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