Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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