He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
It's shark week go big or go home
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