on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Randomize
