Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
