I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
