It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
