just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
