so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
