there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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