Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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