i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
