Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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