nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You're a waste of cheezeits
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
