So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
