I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
handjob tips. give me some.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
