White coat. Heels.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Edward fifth and chaser hands
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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