One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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