I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
