she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
