That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
