If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
