I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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