think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
