you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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