I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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