I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
