He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
there is glitter all over my balls
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