Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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