I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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