Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
