Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
