bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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