needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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