I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
