All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
