Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
