Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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