i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize