I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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