She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
