His pubic hair was longer than his dick
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
