I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
