and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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